I was reading the blog du jour, Because I said so, and she had a post about controlling yourself because you can't control your kids. You set the example by controlling your own emotions and your kids will learn from you and also from the consequences of their actions. That sounds great, but I don't think I would last very long.

My mom is one of the most mellow women you will ever meet. When I told her I was getting married, she said "that's nice." When I told her I was expecting my first child, she said "that's nice." She was genuinely excited and happy. It just wasn't outwardly noticeable. When I was a kid, she very rarely raised her voice. So here's the million-dollar question...where did I get my short temper?

My dad was working all the time and sleeping or watching TV when he wasn't, so I wouldn't say he was much of any influence on my emotional reaction. He had a bigger impact on my work ethic.

Back to the blog, one of the examples she gave was getting her kids to do their homework. She doesn't fight with them to get it done. She wants them to do their homework so they can realize the reward of completing an assignment. If they don't finish, they suffer the consequences at school. I would like to be that laid back about it, and I know that if they are going to learn that not doing their work will result in negative consequences, now is the time to do it -- before their grades really mean something. But it is still really hard.

I feel like I live in chaos constantly, and sometimes I feel like I'm drowning. I guess I hide it well because a lot of people say they don't know how I do it. Well, I don't that I DO do it. I'm just getting by the best I can, and hopefully, my kids won't be too screwed up.