One of a kind

I have always known I was married to a very unique man, but over the last few weeks, I've developed an even greater appreciation for him. Unfortunately, we both know several couples who are having marital problems and I just learned of a couple who filed divorce papers this week. It is difficult for me to advise anyone because it can be hard for me to relate to what they are going through. So I usually just listen which is probably the best thing these people need.

It can be so easy to join in when friends or acquaintances are complaining about their husbands, but I really don't have much to complain about. There are a few minor quirks, but overall Don is a supportive and sensitive husband as well as a very hands-on dad. We are actually interchangeable parents. Whereas a mother might have to leave specific instructions for her husband when he is left with the kids, Don can handle everything -- feedings, clothing, education, etc. Sometimes he's better at some of the stuff than me (patience and playing to name a couple).

As a husband, he has been the best. We have been married for nearly 11 years. During that time, he has supported me through difficult jobs, extremely uncomfortable pregnancies and bad mothering days. We have had health scares and financial struggles, but we have managed to stick together rather than tear each other down.

If I were to give any engaged couples or newlyweds a suggestion, it would be to always keep their marriage first -- well, second after God. Once you have kids, it's easy to become a child-centered household, but you can't forget your spouse. One of the things I have always enjoyed about our marriage is how we celebrate our anniversary. We alternate years planning a weekend for ourselves -- we take a whole weekend and not just one night out. For our first anniversary, Don took me to a murder mystery dinner at a bed and breakfast. Since then, he's always outdone me.

There are a lot of other things I could say about our relationship -- the importance of family, how he proposed, his approach to fatherhood -- but I'll save those for other posts.